Download PDF What are you Doing?, by Vaughn Ohlman
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What are you Doing?, by Vaughn Ohlman
Download PDF What are you Doing?, by Vaughn Ohlman
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There are thousands of Godly young people who want to get married, are ready to get married, and should be married
- Sales Rank: #3658631 in Books
- Published on: 2011-11-17
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .28" w x 6.00" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 110 pages
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Simple. Biblical. Staightforward.
By John W. Creath III
I have often been tempted to write a book on covenant, Christian marriage that I would call, "I Kissed Courtship Goodbye." The reason for the title would be to address a particular definition of courtship that in essence, operates as two families "dating" each other. It subconsciously goes something like this, "we'll let our children court for awhile and see how things go, but if things don't go the direction that we want to, or we discover that they just aren't "compatible" we can just cut it off and there is no harm done." As a result, a young man or woman can easily go through two or three, or more courtships before becoming married. My question, considering the veracity with which the "courtship crowd" trashes the "dating crowd," is how is this any better? I find this logic to be disturbing and destructive. At its core, is a horrible misunderstanding of what commitment/covenant really is. While I would still like to write more extensively on this one day, I feel less of a need to after reading "What are you Doing?" Vaughn's simple, conversational, and scriptural approach to this topic leaves little room for misunderstanding or conjecture and can be easily comprehended by young and old. I was blessed to have parents and now parents-in-law who were wise enough to see through the courtship model's lack of a leg to stand on. My wife's and my relationship and attraction grew naturally and as time went by after our covenant making we both revealed and discovered how we, over time, came to the point where we could not see ourselves marrying anyone other than each other. That simple. Relationships are complicated. They are complicated because we complicate them. But as we grow spiritually, mature, and become more like Christ and wisely meditate on the words of God which were not spoken vain, we apply the principles resulting from this learned understanding to gradually and incrementally casting off the complications that man creates and simultaneously embrace the simplicity and beauty of God's created order. "What are you Doing?" is a casual, and I believe, effective tool of exercising our minds to think more biblically in the realm of how two people covenant together in marriage. I highly recommend it to your gentle reader.
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Considering Christian Courtship Confusion
By Mark at Every Good Path
This book addresses the confusion regarding Christian Courtship. In a Socratic dialog style, problems are accurately diagnosed and solutions boldly proposed. Many footnotes to modern courtship literature and various scripture passages are supplied. Some will judge the offered solution - betrothal - as archaic and unworkable in modern society. But those who have seriously pondered the marriage crisis should welcome a fresh approach.
The basis of the book's betrothal solution is that any man and woman who are not celibate and are willing to "do good" to a mate are eligible to be married to one another. Further, since this sexual interest is present, they should not seek a potential spouse themselves since that will inevitably lead to some sort of sexually charged relationship. Even a merely verbal relationship will lead to sexual thoughts that defraud the couple if they do not eventually become man and wife. Therefore, the fathers should be the ones to initiate any possible discussions of marriage. The man and woman can certainly have a friendly relationship, but considering each other as potential mates can lead to trouble.
Some will decry the involvement of parents in the choice of a spouse as "arranged marriage". But careful readers will understand that the author is not proposing a medieval plot where a young girl is chained in a dungeon awaiting puberty and marriage to a toothless old man. Rather, sensible families will welcome a reintroduction of a multi-generational vision in which parents guide their children through life's major milestones. Modern culture assume that a young couple must stand on their own, living alone, working along, raising children alone - distant from wiser, experienced parents. The book directly challenges this assumption and offers the advantage of wise fathers leading, not dragging or forcing, the next generation throughout the steps of marriage and establishing a vocation and household.
The book does not offer a list of qualifications a father should have in judging a suitor - insisting only on confirming the suitor's non-celibate status and desire to 'do good' to the potential mate. Since 'good' is not explained in detail, the book leaves the impression that the qualifications are minimal and that any sexually interested young man or woman of basic competence is ready for marriage. However, as the father is involved in the process, he can determine if a possible spouse can 'do good'.The father can rightly inquire regarding any requirements he feels necessary to a healthy marriage.
This book moves the courtship/marriage discussion in a more biblical direction. It should encourage families to share a common vision between generations - one that motivates early marriages and sustains those new marriages within a biblical church community and extended family context.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Provides and interesting look
By Jake Stanley
I enjoyed this book because it revealed more about dating , courtship , and arranged relationships than I have seen before. Revealing the lack of biblical truths in todays dating guidelines.
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